Just for Laughs

Sorry for the long hiatus, people! Painting my room and moving everything around wore me out. Any way, in its entirety is the fanfic I wrote with my very good friend. I edited out all the "Queen Biscuit III says:" and the like. But, other than that, everything's intact. Enjoy!

Name: (N/A)
Author: Queen Biscuit III and myself
Series: Everything we could think up at 2 in the morning.
TL;DR Version: Just messing around with the shift button jammed and talking about nonsense. Where there are * that means it's a new message received. It's a little weird but only for fun. No one like actually tried to make this... It was all spontaneous.

*ONCE UPON A TIME
*YOUR MOM WENT TO MARKET
*AND SHE WENT TO GO BUY A FISH BUT AT THE FISH STAND WAS..... HOLY SHIT IT WAS............................................
*A GIANT GUINNEA PIG!!
*RAVAGING THROUGH THE STREETS!!
*SO YOUR MOM'S LIKE "HELL NO BETCH" AND GETS THE HELP FROM
*NARUTO AND OSCAR FROM SESAME STREET
*AT FIRST NARUTO'S ALL
*"BELIEVE IT"
*AND OSCAR'S ALL
*"<<"
*BUT SUDDENLY......
*SOMETHING ECLIPSES THE SUN AND BLUES FROM THE BLUES CLUES LANDS ON THE GROUND IN AN EPIC FLOURISH
*BUT THEN BLUE GETS INTO A TOTAL PIMP WAR WITH CURIOUS GEORGE
*AND THEN ASH COMES IN AND TRIES TO CAPTURE THEM
*AND YOUR MOM GETS ALL TICKED AND STUFF BUT THEN SHE HEARS THIS CALMING MELODY AND LOOKS OVER TO SEE LINK PLAYING A SONG FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND.... AND THEN THERE'S A HORDE OF FANGIRLS--OH NOES
*SO THEN LINK RUNS OFF AND HIDES IN YOUR MOM'S PURSE WHERE HE MEETS BARACK OBAMA AND HIS HO JOE BIDEN
*OR HOWEVER THE HELL YOU SPELL HIS NAME
*SO YOUR MOM CHUCKS THE PURSE AT THE RAVAGING GUINEA PIG
*AND THE GUINNEA PIG EXPLODES IN A BURST OF BEER AND CONFETTI
*AND PIE
*LOTS AND LOTS OF PIE
*SO CURIOUS GEORGE AND BLUES FORGET THEIR DIFFERENCES AND START NOMMING
*BUT OSCAR'S STILL LIKE <<
*AND NARUTO'S ALL "AHAHAHA BELEIVE IT!"
*AND ASH TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS ALL
*ANDTRIES TO CAPTURE NARUTO
*AND THEN VICTORY MUSIC PLAYS AND NARUTO'S NEW NICKNAME BECOMES SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE AND HE IS LATER TRADED FOR A MALE PIDGEY, LEVEL 3.
*"BAHLIEVE IT"
*X3
*BUT JUST BEFORE ANY OF THAT CAN HAPPEN TEAM ROCKET COMES IN AND TRIES TO STEAL NARUTO AWAY FROM ASH
*AND SO THEY CAN INTO AN EPIC BATTLE
*BUT THEN HARRY POTTER RIDES IN ON HIS BROOMSTICK AND TURNS THEM ALL INTO OWLS
*ORLY? =7=
*BUT THEN SUPERMAN COMES AND CHALLENGES HARRY TO A RACE
*AROUND THE WORLD
*AND EVERYONE'S INVITED
*AND THE CROWD GOES WILD
*BUT BEFORE THE RACE CAN BEGIN, CAPTAIN FALCON CRASHES THE PARTY
*"FALCON KICK!"
*AND HE KICKS SUPERMAN AND HARRY POTTER INTO THE LATE 70S
*WHERE THEY MEET THE CURRENT QUEEN OF ENGLAND
*AND TURN HER INTO A SUPERHERO
*AND THEY RENT A VAN
*A DOG
*AND A GAY SCARF
*AND DRIVE AROUND SOLVING MYSTERIES
*BUT THEN THEY RAN OVER SOMETHING. THEY WENT TO EXAMINE THE ROADKILL AND IT WAS NONE OTHER THAN...........
*SMOKEY THE BEAR
*SO WITHOUT KNOWING WHATELSE TO DO, THEY DECIDED TO ROAST THE CORPSE FOR THEIR BBQ PARTY
*BUT THEN SMOKEY BECOMES REBORN FROM THE ASHES LIKE A FREAKING PHEONIX
*AND HE'S ALL LIKE "PUT OUT THAT FIYA YO >:U"
*BUT THEN SUPERMAN GETS ANGRY AND DECIDES TO STAB THE BEAR USING THE QUEEN
*BUT HE MISSES AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLS HARRY POTTER
*WITH HARRY POTTER DEAD, THE QUEEN GASPS IN SHOCK BEFORE SHOUTING "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" AND THEN EVERY ONE SUDDENLY TURNS ANGRY AND SURROUNDS HIM
*AND SUPERMAN'S ALL "OH SH*T"
*AND BURRIES UNDERGROUND
*WHERE HE FINDS INDIANA JONES LOOKIN' FOR SOME TREASURE
*AND SUPERMAN'S ALL LIKE "YO DAWG" CAUSE THEY'RE HOMIES, YA KNOW.
*FO SHO
*AND INDIE'S LIKE "DAWG HOWZ IT BIN?"
*AND SUPERMAN'S ALL "NOT NOW DAWG, THE POPO IS AFTER ME!"
*AND INDIE'S LIKE "FOR REAL MAN? D: "
*"AGAIN? D:"
*"YOU DIDN'T KILL ANOTHER HOOKER DID YOU?" D8
*AND SUPERMAN REPLIES "WELL, DAWG, I DID KILL A HOOKER BUT IT'S OKAY YO CUZ IT WAS ONLY HARRY POTTER."
*AND INDIE'S HE'S GETTIN' ALL SYMPATHETIC AND LIKE "AW YEAH MAN GOOD JOB THERE."
*BUT THEN STEVEN SPEILBERG COMES OUT OF THE BUSHES AND B*TCH SLAPS INDIE
*AND HE'S ALL
*"B*TCH, GIT BACK TO WORK! D< "
*AND INDIE'S ALL "D|" AND HE LEAVES
*SO NOW SUPERMAN'S ALL ALONE AND SH*T AND GETTIN' KINDA DEPRESSED SO HE PLAYS SOME LINKIN PARK AND STARTS SLITTIN' HIS SPANDEX COVERED WRISTS
*BUT THEN "WANNABE" BY SPICE GIRLS COMES UP 'CAUSE BATMAN'S BEEN BOROWING HIS IPOD
*AND SO HAS ROBIN
*SO THEN SOME RICKY MARTIN COMES UP
*AND SUPERMAN'S LISTENING TO "LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA"
*AND SO HE SMASHES HIS PINK IPOD IN HIS FISTS AND FLIES TO CHINA TO GET A NEW ONE
*BUT WHEN HE GETS THERE, SOME CRAZY SH*T IS GOING ON AND THERE'S FIRES AND BABIES CRYING AND PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND IN PANDIMONIUM AND FLYING COWS AND STUFF.
*THEN SOME ANNOUNCER GUY ANOUNCES "THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR......"
*UR MOM
*AND SUPERMAN'S GETTIN' READY TO RIP OFF HIS SPANDEX TO SHOW HIS OTHER SPANDEX WHEN YOUR MOM ACTUALLY SHOWS UP
*AND SHE'S ALL "OH HEEEEELLZ TO THE MOTHER EFFING NO!" I KNOW YOU DO NOT EXPECT ME TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!
*AND SO SHE BUSTS OUT THE CLOROX AND THE MISTER CLEAN AND MAKES SUPERMAN CLEAN UP THE WORLD
*MEANWHILE....
*EVERY BODY GETS SOME RANDOM CHICK NO ONE CARES ABOUT TO REVIVE HARRY POTTER, BUT SHE DIES IN THE PROCESS BUT NO BODY CARES CEPT THIS GREEN HAIRED DUDE AND HE'S CRYING WHILE EVERY ONE'S CELEBRATIN'
*AND HARRY POTTER'S ALL PISSED THAT HE DIED AND MET JESUS AND STUFF
*SO HE SWEARS REVENGE AND HE AND THE QUEEN AND THE DOG AND THE VAN AND EVEN THAT GAY SCARF
*THEY ALL GO AND FLY OFF TO CHINA TO KICK SUPERMAN'S ASS IN
*WHEN THEY GET THERE, THEY FIND UR MOM AND SUPERMAN MAKING OUT IN A BROOM CLOSET
*AND EVERYONE'S ALL: D8
*SO THEN THEY DECIDE THEY NEED AN EXPERT TO HANDLE THIS...
*SO THEY FIND A RANDOM FLAMING POSTER THAT SOME ORIENTAL SCREAMING WOMAN GAVE THEM AND HIRE THE NAME LISTED
*LITTLE DO THEY KNOW THE TRUE, UNADULTERATED POWER OF.............................
*CHUCK NORRIS IN A BIKINI!!!!
*HE FLIES IN OUT OF NOWHERE READY TO SAVE THE DAY!
*AND HE STRIKES A FLAMBOYANT POSE BEFORE OPENING THE CLOSET AND GAZING UPON THE HORRORS WITHIN
*AND HE AND SUPERMAN HAVE A STARING CONTEST
*AND UR MOM'S ALL "OH NO!! WHATEVER SHALL I DO?! D: *SWOON*"
*BUT THEN CHUCK NORRIS AND SUPERMAN KILL EACH OTHER
*AND DIE
*AND HARRY POTTER'S SAD
*BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE KILLED WHEN THEY DIE
*YES
*YES THEY ARE
*PEOPLE DIE IF THEY ARE KILLED
*SUDDENLY SAILOR MOON COMES OUT OF NOWHERE
*AND GETS NAKED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN ORDER TO CHANGE
*NO WAIT, IT'S "IMPLIED"
*AND SHE'S ALL LIKE "NOW THOSE PESKY TOKYO MEWS WILL NEVER FIND ME!"
*BUT TOKYO MEW MEW ALSO COMES IN
*BUT THEY DID
*OH NO
*AND THEY CAPTURE HER
*AND GAG HER
*YES
*AND FEED HER BUTTER ON A FORK
*YESSSS
*AND MAKE HER EAT ENGLAND'S HORRIBLE COOKING
*AND EVERY ONE'S LIKE "NOT A FORK NUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
*AND THEY GAG HER WITH A SPOON
*BUT THEN LUFFY COMES IN WITH HIS STRAW HAT OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
*DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
*AND GIR COMES IN SINGING HIS DOOM SONG
*AND INUYASHA JOINS ALONG
*BUT THEN THE MEWS ARE LIKE "NUUUUUUUUUUUUU MAKE THEM STOP"
*BUT THEY DON'T
*AND SOON MORE DOGS ARE SINGING
*LIKE MCGRUFF
*AND BLUE
*AND EVEN SCOOBY DOO
**SHOT FOR RHYMING*
*AND EVEN ALL THOSE DOG FURRIES LIKE VOLUG AND THE NUMEROUS NAMELESS ONES ON PHOTOBUCKET
*BUT THEN MYSPACE TOM BARGES IN AND IS ALL "LUL WANNA BE FRIENDS? 8D"
*AND OSCAR IS STILL "<<"
*AND THEN HE'S ALL LIKE "O^O" BECAUSE OF REJECTION AND RUNS OFF IN TEARS TO GO INDULGE IN CHOCOLATE PUDDING
*AND SOON HE TRASHES HIS ACCOUNT AND DIES BUT THEN IS REBORN IN A TEMPLE IN PERU SOMEWHERE
*AND GOES ON A RAMPAGE TO KILL FACEBOOK
*AND THEN THE TARDIS SHOWS UP AND DR. WHO COMES OUT AND HE'S LIKE "OH HELL NO" AND BEATS HIM TO OBLIVION KNOWING THE FALL OF FACEBOOKS BRINGS ABOUT MASS SUICIDES AND THE FALL OF MANKIND
*SO THEN YOUTUBE COMES IN PLAYING A SAD SONG
*BUT THEN YOUTUBE'S B*TCH GOOGLE COMES BACK AND ORDERS YOUTUBE TO MAKE IT A SANDWHICH
*AND YOUTUBE CRIES AND GETS BEATEN AROUND A BIT BEFORE GETTIN BACK IN TEH KITCHEN WHERE IT BELONGS.
*AND GOOGLE'S ALL LAUGHING IT UP ALONG WITH ALL THE OTHER EVIL MONOPOLIES
*LIKE DISNEYLAND
*AND MICKEYMOUSE PUTS ON HIS CROWN AND STARTS ACTIN' LIKE A TYRANT AND STUFF
*SO NOW HE"S GOT ARMIES OF DISNEY CHARACTERS AFTER THEIR RIVALS OF ALL THE ANIMES EVARRR
*AND 4KIDS COMES IN AND FILTERS THIS STORY TO MAKE IT KID FRIENDLY
*OH NOES!! D8
*BUT THEN 4KIDS AND DISNEY DECIDE TO TEAM UP
*TO BRING DISNEY-THEMED ANIMES TO CHILDREN THE WORLD OVER
*SO THEY REPLACE ASH'S HAT WITH A MICKEY MOUSE CAP
*AND PIKACHU WITH PLUTO
*SINCE HE'S YELLOW
*AND THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME
*APARENTLY
*AND AL GORE JUST MADE A NEW DISCOVERY
*AND NOW ALL THE ANIMES NOT DUBBED BY 4KIDS ARE DUKING IT OUT WITH DISNEYKIDS
*"DISNEYKIDS IS THE CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING!" SAYS AL GORE
*"THEY MUST BE DESTROYED!!" SAYS BILL GATES
*"AAAAIIIIIGH'T." SAYS WALDO
*. . .
*MEEEEEAAAANWHIIIILE...
*HARRY POTTER DECIDES TO MAKE THIS RANDOM CHICK HIS BITCH AN ASKS FOR A PINA COLADA AND GOING OUT INTO RAIN
*AND THEN HE MENTIONS HE'S NOT INTO YOGA AND HE HAS HALF A BRAIN
*AND THEN EVERY ONE BREAKS OUT INTO SONG
*AND STARTS PARTYING WITH MUSIC PROVIDED BY YOUTUBE FROM THE KITCHEN
*AND YES, HARRY POTTER DOES LIKE THE FEEL OF THE OCEAN
*AND THE TASTE OF CHAMPAGNE
*SO THEY ALL DRINK SOME
*AND THEY DRINK SOME MORE
*AND MORE
*AND GET HORRIBLY WASTED
*AND WAKE UP IN VEGAS
*MARRIED TO LADY GAGA
*AND HARRY POTTER'S LIKE "DUUUUUDE TRIPPY WICKED SWEEEEET."
*AND THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND BUSTS IN SLAPS HARRY POTTER UPSIDE THE HEAD
*CAUSE SHE AND HARRY POTTER WERE LIKE THIS MAN
*THEY WERE TIGHT, DAWG
*THEY WERE MORE THAN TIGHT, BRO
*THEY WERE LIKE SIAMESE TWINS, YO
Queen Biscuit III says:
*DAMN STRAIGHT HOMIE
*SO THEN SHE'S ALL "WTF MAN? i TOLD YOU TO LAY OFF THE HOOKERS!!"
*AND THEN HARRY POTTER BLAMES IT ON THE MONKEY
*AND THE MONKEY SLAPS HARRY FOR BLAMING HIM
*AND HARRY'S ALL "SHE AIN'T NO HOOKAH!! D<"
*AND THE QUEENS ALL
*"BETCH, I WAS TALKING 'BOUT YOU, FOO!! "
*"DAMMIT GAGA! LAY OFF THE HOOKERS!!" SAYS THE QUEEN
*AND HARRY POTTER STARTS CRYING TEARS OF BLOOD AND RUNS OFF SAYING "YOU HATE ME CAUSE I'M PERFECT" AND LISTENS TO LINKIN PARK AND SLITS HIS WRISTS
*AND THEN LADY GAGA AND THE MONKEY START MAKING OUT
*AND THE QUEEN GETS CREEPED OUT
*SO SHE LEAVES FOR CALIFORNIA
*TO START A NEW LIFE
*AND ORDERS A PIZZA
*AND KIDNAPPS THE DELIVERY GUY
*AND DEMANDS HE TAKE HER TO HOLLYWOOD
*SO SHE CAN BECOME AN ACTOR
*AND HE'S ALL LIKE, MAN I CAN'T DRIVE YO
*BUT THEN THE QUEEN B*TCH SLAPS HIM AND MAKES HIM DRIVE ANYWAY
*SO THEY CRASH INTO A TREE
*AND OFF A BRIDGE
*BUT THE DELIVERY BOY HANGS ONTO THE SIDE OF THE BRIDGE WHILE THE QUEEN AND THE TREE FALL INTO THE WATERS BELOW
*AND SO THE QUEEN DIES
*BUT SHE MANAGED TO SURVIVE THE FALL
*AND SHE WASHES UP ON THE SHORES OF GUANTANAMO BAY
*AND SOME MEXICAN STARTS POKING HER WITH A STICK
*AND THEN SOME KIDS COME AND TIE HER UP AND HANG HER FROM A TREE
*AND THEY'RE ALL "YAY"
*MEANWHILE
*SNAPE KILLS VOLDEMORT
*MEANWHILE
*SOME ONE DIES WHILE BANGING THEIR HEAD ON A ROCK
*MEANWHILE
*SUBWAY GUY GAINS 1323359247759445948 POUNDS
*AND DIES
*'CAUSE OF AIDS
*HE GOT IT FROM THE SANDWHICHES
*AT THE FUNERAL...
*THE DELIVERY BOY AKA EDWARD ELRIC WAS DELIVERING PIZZA AND EVERY ONE ACTED LIKE HE WAS FAMOUS BECAUSE...
*C'MON, HE HAD *PIZZA*
*IKNOWRIGHT?
*THEY ONLY WANT HIM FOR HIS HOT PIZZA BODY
*SO SHALLOW
*BUT THEN...
*THE LOCHNESS MONSTER SLAPS GODZILLA
*AND KING KONG LAUGHS
*AND THEY ALL FIGHT
*AND IT'S EPIC
*AND THEN GODZILLA STARTS THROWING BUILDINGS EVERY WHERE AND YOUR MOM DRAGS SUPERMAN BY THE EAR INTO THE FRAY TO MAKE HIM CLEAN IT UP
*BUT SUPERMAN'S DEAD SO HE TURNS INTO A ZOMBIE AND NOMS YOUR MOM
*AND CHUCK NORRIS COMES BACK AND EATS THE REST OF UR MOM
*AND HE AND SUPERMAN FIGHT OVER THE LEG
*AND SO THEY EAT EACH OTHER AND DIE
*BUT THEN PIZZAS START FLYING WILDLY CAUSE ED'S GETTING MAULED BY FANGIRLS (AGAIN) AND A STRAY PIZZA HITS GODZILLA IN THE FACE WHO FALLS OVER AND KNOCKS THE KID IN THE WELL AND LASSIE HAS TO DO ALL THAT CRAP OVER AGAIN
*BUT THEN CURIOUS GEORGE POPS OUT OF THE WELL AND TAKES OUT HIS AK47 FROM HIS HAT AND STARTS SHOOTING THE PLACE UP
*'CAUSE HE SO TOTALLY CAN
*BUT THEN HITLER SHOWS UP AND STARTS YELLING AT EVERYONE
*THE END