Never Fear! The Doctor is here! But he's... Snogging the Professor?

Oh you thought I meant MEDICAL doctor? Oh heck no. The Time Lord can help you waaaay more. Especially in this dreadful little piece, because obviously the author was delusional.

At least, I hope so.

Because this crossover not only is out of canon but it also involves a Mary-Sue! Who woulda thought? Sure, it's not such a bad Mary-Sue, just freaking annoying. Also, the question arises... Well, you'll see later.

And thus I present to you... The Mistress of Time. (Already pretty MS, don't you think?)

Title: Harry Potter And The Mistress Of Time
Author: Karyn-Chan
Series: Harry Potter x Doctor Who (10th regeneration, obviously)
TL;DR Version: Mary-Sue. I would rate her an 'bad' by regular standards, but dreadfully annoying. Her only goal in life is to snog the Doctor. Of course it's Ten, (David Tennant) because the author most likely never heard of the first 8, and no Mary Sue would make out with Christopher Eccleston. I question why this was even crossed with Harry Potter, because the 'Golden Trio' really have no purpose for being here, though I suppose it's told from 3rd person limited POV, with Hermoine being in favor.

Is it just me or does every one love David Tennant more? I mean, I don't HATE Chris Eccleston but...

Compared to 'Tenny', it's obvious why David Tennant is the favorite.

Without further ado, I give you Harry Potter And The Mistress of Time in its entirety.

Karyn-Chan - I wrote this ages ago after the docter who episode "The Doctor's Daughter" and Donna's line- "what do you call a female time lord?", and way i had forgotten about it untill i was cleaning out my computer and desided i'd post it, how ever random it maybe, so enjoy.

Ah yes! The famous episode. See season 4. The episode in which Ten is cloned and given a 'daughter' who actually IS his flesh and blood. He doesn't believe it until she's deemed to be dead though, and misses the opportunity of traveling with him. I wish they would bring her back and stop the fans from making crappy fanfiction.

Also, let's play count the spelling errors! Thus far we have 3!

---

Harry Potter

And

The Mistress Of Time

"I wonder who the new defence teacher is" Ron weasley said as he stuffed his face with a sausage.

Because every one knows Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers don't last a whole semester!
SP Error count: 4.

"I don't know, who ever it was, they weren't at the sorting ceremony last night and Dumbledore never mentioned anything" Harry potter said looking at his friend with mild disgust.

THIS IS UNHEARD OF. THE FIRST SIGN OF A MARY-SUE: Lull the canon boys into a sense of security.

"Hello boys" Hermione Granger said as she sat down and gave Ron the same look of disgust as she turned to Harry.

"I seen Professor Snape talking to a woman I've never seen before could, be her" she said helping herself to some cereal.

This is the only time we'll hear of Snape, but judging that he's actually talking to her, he's got the hots for her. Sadly, (if you couldn't tell) a love story with a human is not meant to be for this Time Lord...ess...

"Please, Hermione, I really don't need to know of Snape's sex life" Ron said swallowing hard his face filled with disgust.

OH RON ALWAYS THINKING DIRTY THOUGHTS, YOU.

Hermione rolled her eyes, and shook her head at the red headed boy.

"You think it might be her?" Harry asked ignoring Ron's choked gasp.

"Could be, then again could be just as Ron says an acquaintance of his, after all it's not unusual for professors to have friends visit during the school year"

Hermoine, hon? I don't think one's 'sex life' includes acquaintances in the real world. Oh hah you're wizards what the hell do I know.

"Hmm yea, I suppose we'll have to wait and see we have Defence first don't we?" Harry asked

"Yea we do, coming?" Hermione asked as she finished her breakfast.

SP Error count: 7. (I'm counting repeated and I don't recognize 'yea' as a word.)

"I can't believe your talking about Snape like you would charms" Ron said fallowing his two best friends.

"Well, you need to grow up Ronald" Hermione said.

Harry had to stifle a grin as he saw the look on Ron's face.

WHY. WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE. TELL ME.

The trio entered the classroom only to notice, that in the back corner was a large black, police box.

Now the Mary-Sue's gone and steal recognizable symbols from canon! And she's painted them black! (Also, if you don't know, the Doctor only keeps the TARDIS as a police box because the Chameleon Circuit is broken, which enables it to change appearance for blending in with the times. Even MORE stealing from canon, I infer.)

"What on earth?" Hermione asked as she sat down, Harry and Ron flanking her.

"No idea" Harry shrugged as he pulled out his quill and parchment along with his textbook.

"My dad would love that" Ron grinned

"Of course, your muggle loving father would love it Weasley, new idiot is probably a mudblood like Granger" Draco Malfoy Sneered as her entered the room, Spinning his wand loosely in his hand.

Sadly, the Mary-Sue will not be trying to make a move on Malfoy, no matter how delicious that may be.

"There will be no foolish wand waving in this class Mr Malfoy" a female Voice said as Malfoy's wand went flying out of her hand and into the hand of the young woman, who had just entered the classroom "and I can assure you I'm no more 'Muggle' than you your are" she said "you're to collect your wand, sheath it, and sit down" the woman snapped. She was dressed in a long, wine coloured, Victorian dress with white lace round the hem, bust line, and cuffs, her hair was a fox fire red and done up in an intricate bun, round her neck was a thing sliver chain with a round sliver locket hanging just above the valley of her breasts, with an delicate flower design engraved on it, she wore black lace up Victorian style boots that clicked across the stone floor as she walked to her desk.

This woman is so important, her voice needs to be capitalized! And jeez, she's a Time Lord, she can't do magic!... Can she? But here we go with the description of our Sue. I guess, for all the Suethor cares, all of the students could be naked, but this woman is VICTORIAN.

"Now my name is Professor" She said writing it on the chalk board with her wand.

I wish the author would amuse me and make her think up a name. Much like how the Doctor is always "John Smith".

Hermione shyly raised her hand.

"Yes Miss Granger?" the Professor said, nodding her head to the girl.

HOW DID SHE KNOW HER NAME?!

"Professor who?" the young seventh year asked.

Oh hah a joke. Any way, if she's seventh year doesn't that make her around 18? Or is Hermoine now younger than all the other students?

"Just the Professor" the woman said "but if you fine it easier, Madam will do" the woman said smiling, if she had a sliver leaf for every time she herd that she'd have a forest.

THIS ANALOGY MAKES NO SENSE TO ME. MAYBE IT'S A REFERENCE I AM NOT CATCHING. SOME ONE PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME.

"Yes Madam" Hermione said, blushing prettily when the professor smiled at her, she had a lure about her that Hermione couldn't quite explain, but when she looked around the room she saw that all the girls had that same calm expression on their faces that she expected she had.

"Hermione" Harry asked waving his hand in front of her face.

"Ah mister Potter you noticed" the Professor said with another small smile.

"As Much as I try I can't control it, so your friend will just have to stay calm for the duration of my classes, now on with the lesson" the professor said. Turning back to the board she continued to charm the notes for the class up with her wand. Unbeknown to her Students though she was trying her best to control the lure that was only meant for her mate, human female's tended to feel the calming effect but not the pull that she felt the brunt of, oh how she wished to be on the receiving end of such a pull, but alas she was the last of her kind and doomed to live a life of loneliness.

SP Error Count: 8.
Now our Mary-Sue has some sort of unexplainable power that only is effective on ladies! Oh I WISH this was yuri-slash. Teh lulz would be sweet.

The rest of the class went by with out a hitch and as did the rest of the classes for about two months and Hermione and the rest of the girls in the Professors classes grew used to the calming effect she had on them.

Hermione since finding out about it went to the library in search of finding out what kind of creature the woman was but the only thing she had found that had a lure were Veela's and then it was lust driven not Claming. She tried to question the Professor but the woman had also ways Snapped at her and told her not to delve into the private lives of her professors.

SPEC: 9! Every body's clam, now!
This section has no purpose, really. Hah, you didn't have to read it but you did.

It wasn't until Christmas when the Seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins, were once again in Defence against the dark arts that the young Know-It-All got a Clue as to what her professor might be.

SPEC: 10.
The clue is important too.

"Wands out you'll be learning shield spells today" The professor said as she strode into the classroom wearing a pale blue Victorian style dress with a white over coat.

Also, these capitalization errors are driving me batty, along with the lack of punctuation in quotations.

The students did as asked but suddenly they herd a loud whooshing coming from the big black phone box.

OH SNAYAP! HER BOX IS LEAVING HER AND STRANDING HER IN HOGWARTS IN... WHATEVER YEAR THIS IS.

"Oh shushed!" the professor Snapped glaring at the box.

"Ermm, Professor?" Harry asked looking at his professor wearily.

The whooshing came again and the professor stomped yup to the box.

SPEC: 11. Yup.

"You know as well as I do, that there is no other, I'm the last!" The professor Yelled threw her arms up in the air. The class were looking at the woman as if she had gone mad when she, walked into the box and didn't come out again, but the Whooshing continued in fact it got louder, Hermione's eyes flicked to the front of the class and she gasped as there behind the front desk was a blue Phone box exactly like the one in the back of the class.

This paragraph is horrible. Also, I don't think that the box leaving would signalize that there is another Time Lord. At least, it didn't at the end of season 3...

"Now where did you take me?" a man's voice asked as he stepped out of the box at the same time the professor came out of her own box muttering.

Once again! The only thing that makes the TARDIS move is a concentration of Hu-On particles and Jack's presence! Because it hates Jack.

"Saying there's another, how does that make sense?"

"Errm professor" Ron Said blinking at the man dressed in a blue pinstriped suit and a long brown trench coat and a pair of red converses.

"Hello" he said running a hand through his brown hair.

"What in the name of torchwood?" The professor said as she stared at the man now standing at the front of her classroom.

WHOA NOW SHE KNOWS ABOUT TORCHWOOD?! Seriously, Professor, how Sue can you get in a one-shot?

The man was staring at the professor's neck, he could see the locket a faint glowing, pulling him to her "impossible" he breathed.

The professor on the other hand, was breathing heavily, and the girls in the class noticed the clam feeling disappear.

SPEC: 12.
"Damn!" Hermoine muttered under her breath. "I love feeling like a clam!"

"Professor, who is that man?" Hermione asked

"But I'm the last, I watched it burn!" the professor screamed holding her head as the memories' came flooding back, ignoring the girl.

Emotional breakdown without prompting! Yaaaaaaay.

The man was in a similar state thought he just clenched his fist, and frowned.

He thought he clenched his fist, but he wasn't too sure.
SPEC: 13.

"Your name?" the man said through clenched teeth.

"The professor yours?" the professor asked releasing her head from her hands and breathing deeply.

Breakdown's over, now it's all-smiles time!

"Your real name" the man smirked.

"Only a mate should know, now are you going to answer me" the professor said walking towards the man.

"The Doctor" he said.

As they continue to talk about 'mates', I think of that time when the Doctor asks Donna to accompany him...
Doctor: I get lonely... Sometimes, I just want a mate...
Donna: You just want to MATE?!
Doctor: No, I just want A mate! A mate!

"Hmm interesting, do you feel it? Our minds sharing our deepest memories?" the Professor asked as she walked closer to him still.

The doctor was breathing heavily now he could feel it and for the first time in years he felt himself react to a woman.

What about Rose?! ROSE, DOCTOR!! Remember Rose?!

She could feel the burn she was in heaven, there was another she was no longer alone, teaching human children how to control that witch did not belong to them.

SPEC: 14.

"The professor last of the time Mistresses" The doctor slowly, closing his eyes and letting the clam feeling wash over him.

I really don't think it's Time Mistresses... But now the Doctor's a clam too?! OH NOES.
SPEC: 15.

"Indeed, and the doctor last of the time lords" the professor said with a smile. "Now are you going to mark me or are you just going to stand there?" she said.

The Doctor walked towards the woman in to longs strides and pulled her flush against him, crashing his lips to hers.

Hon, the Doctor was married and had kids a long time ago... I don't think he'd just make out with some one who he just met... Especially when she didn't start it.

The boy's in the seventh year class whistled and the girls awed. But the two aliens were oblivious, there minds intertwined and they where feeling pleasures they had not felt in hundreds of years, so much so the doctor had to catch the woman as her knees buckled.

Pulling away the Doctor smiled down at her and pulled her close.

"Class dismissed" she snuggled closer to the doctor, breathing in his sent. When no body moved the woman frowned and pulled back again before looking at her students.

"Now!" she braked and the teens scuttled out of the room, the woman smirked.

This is so wrong on so many levels.
SPEC: 20.

"Was that really needed Adalade?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, for I fear I'm in need of a doctor" she said smirking as she pulled his head down and captured his lips in a heated kiss.

Woo! Even Sue-esque name! YESSSSSSSS...


There you have it, folks, LOL CROSSOVER's first Sue! I hope we have more to come and maybe even the dreaded Canon!Sue! Any who, hope you enjoyed the horrible raping of these two wonderful English-based fandoms. And with a final score of 20 errors, how can you not at least giggle? My favorite part, personally, was when they were all turned into clams.



NEXT TIME: We delve into the depths of Pokemon! And a totally brainwashed Suethor who I pity, actually.